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Tuesday, August 13, 2019

How to discipline your child without scolding or yelling !



Lately I noticed, that I started losing my temper and getting irritated over trivial issues which don't even matter. The worst part is that I started taking out my anger and frustration on T. I started scolding him for small things. This was leading him to becoming stubborn and cranky. He started throwing tantrums. The more I scolded him,the more stubborn he became. After scolding him I felt terrible and I started feeling that I was a horrible mother ! I discussed this with my husband and  tried to incorporate a few things and changed my attitude. T's reactions also changed and he started listening.

I am sharing few things which I incorporated and hope they are helpful for you too :

  • Stay Positive:
I noticed if I said something negative to T, his immediate reaction would to do exactly what I told him not to do. For eg, if I told him not to water the plants because he spilled it all over the floor, his reaction would be " I will water the plants now!" and sometimes he would spill the whole bucket on purpose. I started telling him, " You have done a wonderful job,the plants are not thirsty anymore, how about watering them in the evening again ? ".  This way the child feels that he has done a something good, we praise him , he feels he accomplished something and it gives him a boost of confidence.

  • Keep expensive things out of the reach of kids:
If you feel your child is touching an expensive art decor piece, telling him not to do it again might not help and you might lose your temper, which will end in yelling, resulting in the child becoming stubborn and aggressive. The best alternative is to pick up the expensive piece and keep it out of the reach of the child.

  • Prepare Ahead:
We all know that kids get cranky when they are hungry, and it is also essential to keep them busy with things they like to do.If you know that you are going out of the house for a long period, prepare in advance. Prepare a small bag for the child before you leave the house. Take some snacks , activity books, colours, drawing book or a few toys , to keep your kids occupied. 

  • Set a Consequence :
If a child has done wrong, he should realize that he will get a consequence for that. you have to be firm that you follow through the consequence. Whether it's no TV time, no going out to play, taking away their favourite toy for a while, they should know if they break a rule, they pay a price for that.

  • Turn a blind eye :
Sometimes it is best to ignore your child's bad behaviour. Rather than yelling or trying to spank them, it is best to ignore sometimes. At times , kids want attention, so they misbehave and if they get ignored for five minutes, the kids get straighten out themselves.

  • Give them a Time Out :
This is an effective tool. A good rule is a minute for each year of your child's age.For giving him time out, he should keep quiet in a corner or chair. Don't interact with him at this point. When it is over, other than maybe an apology, don't bring it up again.

  • Be the Person in Charge :
When the kids act out, we have to realize that we are adults and they are kids. That means we have to urge to hit or yell , we have to  be cool and avoid the lifelong problem of hitting or yelling at your child.

  • Be Compassionate :
Talk to your misbehaving kid calmly, clearly and by understanding his needs , wants and what led him to react in that way.

  • Give Them a Hug :
We want to discipline our kids, but we don't want them to get averse from us. Hug them , let them know how much you love them.

  • Take your Own Time Out :
You need to keep your cool and sometimes need your " Me Time " too. Call your husband, or some other member of the family to take charge of the child. Take time to relax, read , meditate, go out with friends, move away from the situation. This will rejuvenate you to deal with situations better. 

I hope these points are helpful in dealing with your temper with kids and make you feel more positive. I am  learning everyday too . Each day brings in a new learning and experience and more awareness.

Happy Parenting ! 


Thursday, August 1, 2019

Chickens Can't See in the Dark


🐤Chickens Can't See In the Dark is a sweet picture book by Kristyna Litten.
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🐤Mr. Benedict tells his class that chickens cant see in the dark and his student Pippa the chicken sets out to get the secrets of night vision. He puts in all his efforts and finally he finds a book in the library which saothat by eating carrots you will be able to see in the dark.
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🐤He buys a lot of carrots and makes a variety of delicious dishes for his friends and family. Then on a starry moonlit evening all the chickens discover the delight of seeing in the dark.
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🐤This book has a very nice message that one should believe in themselves, even though no one else does.
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🐤Also the importance of eating vegetables is described in the book.
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🐤T got fascinated the pictures as they were big and bright.
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🐤This book is very good to read aloud.
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🐤You can talk about different vegetables and their benefits while reading this book to your child.
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🐤It is appropriate for kids 3-6 years of age. I bought this book from @bookathonindia.

Rating ❤❤❤❤ / 5

Picnic - Pretend Play



T loves pretend plays. We set up a picnic for his toys a few days back.
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🎈He helped me in setting up the picnic and we had some very interesting conversations along while we were setting up. .
🎈He chose all the toys that he wanted for the picnic. Apparently his mickey mouse didn't listen to his papa so he got a consequence and was not allowed to go for the picnic 😂
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🎈We had talked about eating fruits and vegetables a few days back, so no chips and biscuits at picnic, only fruits and vegetables. 😉
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🎈Also all the a

nimals would play tennis, so he took out his tennis rackets and the ball. 😁
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🎈Last but not the least in the set up- his cars!! How could he leave the cars behind. The animals needed to travel to come for the picnic and they had to come in the cars😂
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🎈I love doing pretend play with him. It's so much fun and it helps to improve their
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✨Imagination
✨Cognitive skills
✨Physical skills
✨Social skills
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🎈It gives moms some time to finish their work or to have a cup of hot tea / coffee or just read a book without being interrupted for good 20-25 minutes.
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🎈Do you also do pretend play with your kids? Please try this picnic pretend play with your child and tag me! I am sure they will love it.

Tuesday, July 30, 2019

Done With Her - Book Review

Book - Done With Her⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Author - Chirasree Bose ( @chirasreebose_author) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Pages - 73⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Format - Kindle⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Publisher - Evincepub Publishing ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Done With Her is a short gripping tale of lust, obsession and drama.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Plot -⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Avesh is a techie working in Pune. Spreeha is a new joinee and she reminds him of someone from his past that he wants to forget forever. But he can't help himself falling for her. She is going around with someone but enjoys Avesh 's attention. Both Avesh and her lover remind her of someone from her past too! The secrets are about to be revealed which will ruin his life forever! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Will Avesh' s dark secret ever come out? What awaits for him?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Review - ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
There is a lovely social message to this book. When I picked up the book to read , I thought it would a love story but I was pleasantly surprised that it turned out to be a thriller. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The book is well written and keeps the readers attention glued till the end to the twits and turns it takes as it goes along. I finished reading the book in a day. You will find each chapter with a new mystery to unfold.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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" Stand up for the wrong being done to you. Voice your opinion. Fight. Face your fears. And never ever think you are weak because you are a woman." This is one of my favourite lines of the book. All women should remember this.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I would recommend this book to all. Its a very short read and can be finished in one sitting!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Rating - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
4/5⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Sunday, July 21, 2019

Life in the Sunshine : Autobiography of an Unknown Author


Book - Life in the Sunshine
Author - T. Sathish
Page Count - 230
Format - Kindle

Life in the Sunshine is a debut Novel by T. Sathish.

If you are a 90's kid then you will definitely have a strong connection with the book. The story revolves around three best friends - Trib, Sat and Sam - known as the triple Sunday gang, their love and passion for cricket!. They didn't only loved cricket, they worshiped it. Right from their childhood, to college to their settling in life, the story revolves around them playing in their  building compound to where life finally takes them. They dream of making money by playing for the Indian Cricket Team. But its not easy to get what you want. The author has beautifully shown how Sat gets disheartened , pulls himself again and decides to preach Cricket as you preach religion.

The writer has put in a lot of effort to explain some of the great cricket matches played in the 80's and 90's. The best part of the book is that it doesn't get philosophical while narrating the story. The book has an interesting twist at the end which was refreshing. All the characters seemed to be real. The book had some very funny moments ,which was nice.

The language is simple and lucid.

The cover of the book is simple and beautifully designed, appropriate to the plot of the book.
The book gives a very nice message that life is full of challenges and one should face them positively and not to give up!

I would highly recommend it to all the cricket enthusiasts!

Rating  4/5

Thursday, July 11, 2019

Ashok and the Nine Unkown - Book Review



Title - Ashok and the Nine Unknown
Author - Anshul Dupare
Publication - Rupa Publications
Genre - History / Fiction / Thriller
Pgaes - 224
Format - Paperback

Plot :

"Power is always hungry for more. The more you feed it,the more its hunger increases."

Who has not heard about Emperor Ashok?

The story begins after the end of the Kalinga war, one of the deadliest wars of all times. Ashok is saddened when he sees so many soldiers, ladies and children died in the war. Although he won the war but he felt defeated. He couldn't see the pain of his people and decides to help them in whatever way he could. Ashok, with the help of Radhagupta ( His Chief Minister) creates a society for the betterment of his people which was governed by the nine unknown people, dealing with nine different aspects possessing immense knowledge.

But Amartya, one of the soldiers who lost his family in the war, his arms and one eye, couldn't accept Ashok as his King. Amartya left for Mayong to learn Black Magic so that he could take his revenge from Ashok.

Meanwhile the story takes another turn when another society in addition to Ashok's society comes

into the palace. One by one people start dying and the story takes another turn.

Review-

The book cover is very bright and catchy.
I am a great fan of History and fiction , so was really interested in reading this book.
The author has explained the details of war very well. Somewhere in the middle I thought that the story lost its focus.As the focus was on Black Magic, Dragons and and the Sphinx. But it gained momentum after Radhagupta's murder and it becomes a thriller.

This books is the first of its two parts. I am looking forward to reading the second part.

Rating - 3.5 / 5





Sunday, July 7, 2019

How Parents Fighting Affects a Child's Mental Health

No matter how healthy a couple's relationship is, some squabbles are definitely bound to happen. But mire frequent and serious arguments can definitely take a toll on the kids. 
Children feel the most secure with their parents but harsh parental arguments can negatively affect a baby who is as young as six months of age and adults as old as 19 years can be very sensitive to their parents arguments. 


How does fights effect children:

  1. Kids are emotionally insecureChildren exposed to a lot of fighting may worry about divorce or wonder when one parent’s silent treatment is going to end. It can make it difficult for them to have a sense of normalcy in the family since fights may be unpredictable.
  2. The parent-child relationship may be affected. 
  3. Fighting creates a stressful environment. Overhearing frequent or intense fighting is stressful for kids. Stress can take a toll on their physical and psychological well-being and interfere with normal, healthy development.
  4. Decreased cognitive performance: its been researched that kids who come from a house where parents fight a lot often have difficulty with their attention span and also fond it difficult to focus. Their ability to rapidly solve problems and quickly see patterns in new information also decreases.
  5. Increased relationship problems: Being exposed to parents fighting increases the chances that kids will treat others with hostility. They may struggle to maintain healthy relationships when they’re older too.
  6. Higher rates of behavior problems: Parental conflict has been linked to increased aggression, delinquency, and conduct problems in children. Additionally, children are more likely to have social problems and increased difficulty in adjusting to school.
  7. Increased risk of eating disorders: Several studies have linked eating disorders, such as anorexia, to high parental discord.
  8. Physical effects: A child might even have physical effects from the fighting, such as sleep problems, stomach aches or headaches.
  9. Higher risk of academic problemsOther studies have found that living in a high conflict family increases the odds of dropping out of high school and getting poor grades.
  10. A more negative outlook on lifeChildren who are raised in high-conflict homes are more likely to have negative views of their family relationships. They are also more likely to view themselves in a negative way. 

  • When Does Fighting Become Problematic?
  • Just because your fights don’t get physical doesn’t mean they aren’t harmful to your kids. It can be serious when :
      1. Name-calling starts
      2. Insults
      3. Threats of abandonment (such as threatening to leave the house or divorce)
      4. Any form of physical aggression (including throwing things or punching things in anger)
      5. Walking out or withdrawing from the argument. 

      6. You might take these steps to address the situation with your kids:
        • Discuss the fight
        • Reassure the children that it was just an argument and not indicative of bigger problems
        • Finish it up by making sure the children understand that you’re still a strong family
        If you believe that your fights with your spouse or partner are harming your child’s mental well-being, consider seeing a therapist.There is no harm in talking to a third person who can discuss your issues without judging or becoming biased.
      • At the end of the day, what matters most is you love your family and you want to protect and stay connected.
      P. S - pic source : www.pixabay.com